new generation, new perspectives

Hello everyone,

My name is Eric, and I am a 22 year old college student in Austin, Texas. This is my first blog ever. My first time sharing with the world what is on my mind. It is actually very scary even though I will probably never see any of your faces. But what I have to say I feel is important. What I want to share with you is my journey; of recovery and in life. As I am writing this there is a voice in my head that I have learned is not uncommon to so many. That voice that says what I have to say is unimportant, that I will fail, that I should never try. That voice that says it is not okay to believe in myself, to love myself, to share with you my struggles and my lessons learned because I am young. How many of you have that voice in your heads? It is scary when you stop and notice. But here is the secret, it is just a voice. It is a condition that I feel the world feeds in frenzy. That I am small, insignificant, why try. We see it everywhere from weight, to body image, to politics, to ambitions, and dreams, even in relationships. Afraid to put ourselves out there in fear of being judged. The reality it that this voice is our own judge. The worst one because it strikes at the core of our fears, the fear that I am not good enough. One of the things that I have learned in recovery from abuse is that the relationship that I have with myself is the most sacred. It is by nuturing myself and believing in myself that I can have real relationships with people and the world around me. When I first started believing that I could recover this voice was small. It seemed more crazy to say things like "I believe in you, you are worth it" than to beat myself up with shame and guilt. But we all do it.