Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Lord of the Flies

June Bugs...one of my favorite things this time of year...because it means my birthday is in 9 days :) haha But what i really want to talk about is flies. Just go with me. Today after work I decided to do something for me all by myself. To get intouch with me...so I went to one of my favorite spots on the green belt and just relaxed. Until the fly...everything was peaceful until this darn fly would not stop hovering around my head buzzing! and then it hit me....The fly is just part of being outside it is part of te nature that I run to for peace and connection. So after some moments I began to not notice the fly...I just let it be there as it is annoying and all...but none the less it faded away. It reminded me of my pain and my past in abuse. In recovery one of the hardest things for me to do is make peace with my pain and those who hurt me; including my own fears and self. But it is not something I can force myself into or ignore....because it will still be there buzzing. If I just let it be part of me; like the fly it will eventually sink in and fade away...I can notice it without it defining me or my present...and enjoy life...my life.

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